ali's Corner. [Sunday Nights]

this episode repeats weekly.
it's the one i can't control.
the one from my past.

when i was in school,
sunday nights meant
the end to a weekend.
the start of a school week.
it was something that I dreaded.
and if there wasn't something
profound to look forward to
in the coming week,
it depressed me.

and even tho i'm almost
2 years out of school.
because of the 13 years I
endured...it's stuck with me.

and so i'm left.
no matter what's going on in my life,
with an intense feeling of
worry, sadness & dread
that i cannot control.

and if i feel i have no one to confide in,
i'm left with an even more intense
feeling of emptiness, lonliness
and a physical pain i can't shake off.

it's truely awful.
not something i would expect
to happen to me
if i were a stranger to myself.

the ONLY thing that keeps me going
is of course, my family.
but God.
He's always waiting with open arms.
saying "come to me"
and i do.
i sit on his lap and he rocks me to sleep.
it never fails.

but sometimes
i just long for that earthly human touch.
...maybe i'm just a cuddler...

:[