ali's Corner. [Church Starts on Monday Mornings.]

"Church starts on Monday Morning." -Stephen West

Church isn't just a place
to gather every Sunday morning
for Christians to feel good.
Church is the outward expression
of our faith on any given day
that ends in 'y'.

I woke up today.
I had a long talk with God.
I told Him that I wanted to be
Him today.
I wanted Him to use me.
We finally got to catch up.
I told Him how I felt about
how things were going
in life lately.
I told Him what i'd like to see change.
I told Him to show me where He wanted me.
Right now.
At this point in my life.
I asked Him to move inside of me today.
To completely mold and shape my heart
according to His purpose.
I was fully and completely His.
Again.
Finally.

I had an awesome conversation
with dad about dodgeball.
He gave me some pointers.
I went to Cafe Patachou
and met up with good friends.
I went to school
in high spirits.
Completely happy.

On my way to work,
God began speaking to my heart again.
He gave me visions of things
He wants to see me do.
Or to start up.
I saw a small vision of His
current purpose for me.
How extraordinary.

Throughout the day,
He kept showing me hurting people.
People going through rough times,
People struggling,
People too afraid to admit it.
I was overwhelmed with an
incredible sense of love.
I wanted to help them.
God gave me ideas of what I could do.
Then I took it upon myself to
plan it out for another day.
But, God said,
"Do it today".
I'm not usually
a very assertive person,
but when God called,
out of my mouth flew,
"Yes God."
Today I lived for Him.
To show Him how much I loved Him.
I'm sick of pretending
and saying how much He means
to me.
I want to show Him.

And of course,
the closer I get to God,
the harder the evil one
tries to make me falter.
I struggle with verbally
witnessing.
Anytime I talk about God
verbally,
anxiety overwhelms me.
Panic attacks aren't uncommon.

People make comments.
They insult my intellegence
and my faith -
the core of my existence.

But, somehow.
I kept talking.
I didn't let the anxiety
swallow me up.
Something inside of me
kept forcing words out of my mouth.
Words I didn't know I was going to say.

And somehow,
the evil words of others
bounced off of me as if
I had a shield.
Words that had once destroyed me.
I recognized what was happening
and indulged in an out loud
laugh at Satan in my car.

Oh, how healing laughter is.

My day has been filled with
people asking about my faith.
Wanting to know more.
People in need to a listening ear.
Or people just in need of love.

I've been used.
and changed.
Today alone.
To an extremity
I have never experienced
before.

I gave God control of me,
for the first time in a long time.
Completely and wholeheartedly,
and wow.

The last 24 hours,
have felt amazing.