"I always felt like the different kid."
My passion was always to sing,
dance, perform, and entertain people.
My desire was to be delighted in.
One traumatic experience
with an anxiety attack
in 6th grade left me
promising myself that
I would never speak,
offer my thoughts,
or perform in front of people again.
"I was chained to my failure
and I let it control me."
I was bullied for all of
middle school and
most of my high school years.
I also began to believe some
of the names I was being called
which played into feelings of unworthiness.
This led to experiences with verbally
and physically abusive boyfriends
who belittled me,
talked down to me,
and blamed me for things
that weren't my fault.
And I endured all of it.
This left me with hatred
towards myself and
believing I had nothing to offer this world.
"I always knew about Jesus,
but I never knew Him personally."
One day, I was at the
end of my hopelessness.
I was so depressed,
I sat in a chair unable to move.
With no motivation to eat, speak, or pray.
My mom was sitting with me,
she opened her Bible and began
to read scripture to me that
she'd highlighted during her own faith walk.
That is when God came alive to me.
The weight I'd carried my entire life was
lifted off and I was given peace.
I felt like I had never been sad.
From that point in my life
He's been teaching me
what it means to be in relationship with Him.
Over the next few years,
He pulled me into His arms
and taught me about Himself
and about who He created me to be.
"Now, I am free."
My identity is rooted in Christ
and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Unless God says the same things about me
as those girls in high school did,
they simply aren't true.
I don't have to be and live in those things
because that's not who I was created to be.
I get to live OUT who God created me to be.
And it's not to be silent!!
He has a purpose for my life
and Jesus is the reason I'm still breathing.
My wants, passions, and desires
have molded to
His wants, passions, and desires.
And they've been set on fire
with a calling to be fearless.
My chains of not being able to speak
or offer have been broken and
the beauty Christ created me for is
slowly emerging more and more everyday.
I want nothing more than to spend
my every second glorifying His name
because He loved me
and continues to love me anyway.
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