Recently had a request for an ali's corner.
My cousin.
This is for her.
But I wrote it for everyone.
Because we all experience hard times.
discouragement.
and struggles.
Alyssa Weber:
What really goes on in alis head. Ali's life. Ali's world.
How to get closer to God.
How you know when hes reaching out to you
to pick you up when you stumble
into a hole that you ignored.
When you brush the problems off of your shoulders
and they trail behind you forever...
How do you get close?
How do you really feel the touch of God...
Dear Reader,
I don't have all the answers, lovely.
The best I do is to speak from experience.
The time when I experienced God the most was in times of hurt.
It is our human nature to feel the desire to cry out when we are hurting.
And this is honestly when God is at his best.
I've learned that God is constantly reaching out for you.
It is just our choice to listen or not.
He's always there.
With open arms
awaiting us to run into them.
He's always willing
and always waiting.
However...
and listen up because it's a big however.
God won't EVER force himself on anyone.
This is where free will comes into play.
We all have control over our own decisions.
What we believe.
What we do.
What we don't do.
I think this is one of the main reasons people lose hope.
One of the main reasons people stop believing.
Or choose never to start.
They're expecting great things to happen
when their hearts aren't even willing.
The best way to experience God is to
completely surrender.
Let go of your pre-existing opinions of a greater power.
Let go of all your questions that remain unanswered
and let go of all your facts that conflict with the possibility
of His existence.
Let your mind wrap around the possibility that he really exists.
Even just for once second.
Don't hesitate.
Just let go.
In my 21 year old mind
and through all of my 21 years of experiences with Christ
I believe with all my heart
that He will NOT let you down.
He's never let me down.
And for all the times I've thought He has,
I look back and realize that it was really me
being stubborn.
pushing him away.
and turning my back on Him.
So, cousin, when you're lying in bed at night.
Hurting.
Just physically and emotionally aching.
Let Him in.
When I was 17
I felt God on a whole other level than I'd ever thought possible.
I was hurting from a relationship that had
done nothing less than ruin me.
Physical and emotional abuse had scarred me.
Everything i'd had in the past year with this guy was fake.
He was unhealthy for me.
And I knew it.
But I was too weak to tell him no.
One night, I broke.
I hated myself.
I didn't want to be here anymore.
The relationship had broken me down so much
that I began to believe everything that he'd called me.
I began to think that I deserved that blow to the face.
I tried hurting myself.
I laid face down on my bedroom floor that night.
Crying.
So hard.
So loud.
I called out to God.
There was no hesitation.
I couldn't get any lower.
His arms wrapped around my cold shaking body
so tightly that I began to cry harder.
The pain was finally subsiding.
And I could feel the strength building again inside of me.
So much, that I had enough in me to call the guy.
and confidentally state that I didn't love him anymore.
Hanging up was like dancing.
That burden of my life was gone.
And I was in Christ's arms.
I feel like you can relate to those feelings, cousin.
I know you're hurting.
But if you just look next to you,
you'll realize He's never left your side.
He's just been so quiet.
As not to disturb you.
Until you need Him.
Be open.
Look around.
Don't be blind to certain songs,
people you meet,
billboards,
gut feelings.
Live.
Live not just for God,
but live for yourself.
You're so much like me,
it scares me.
Your photography.
Your style.
Your passions.
Your ability to write.
How you pee just as often as i do [sorry...]
I love you like a little sister.
Just remember that I don't have all the answers.
But I have experiences.
But these experiences are memories
so profound in my life,
that nothing could shake me from the faith I have in God today.
I believe with more than all my heart.
Never hesitate to talk.
Never hesitate to open up.
He's there.
and I'm always here for you as well.
Love,
ali.
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