ali's Corner. [Too Late For A Camera]

Sometimes I wish I could stop time.
And not for my own benefit of catching up,
but rather to pause and rewind.
To pick and choose moments in my life to play back in slow motion.
Nothing would be changed.
But the speed that it happend.

Moments that simply happend so fast
makes the meaning of them seem less significant.

The first time I rode my bike without training wheels.
Dad was right behind me ready to catch me.
But what did my face say?
Fear? Or Confidence?
When I fell hard on the cement, did I get right back up
or did I hesitate to try again?

The first time I won both heats in the 100m dash.
I remember holding my stomach and almost collapsing at the finish line,
but was I smiling? Or did I try and play it cool?

The first time I looked in the mirror after I got braces.
Purple and orange - why did I choose those colors?
Did I like them? Did I smile with pride?
Or did my eyebrows sag and take a toll on my confidence?

The first time I realized I was in love.
No matter who it was, I want to know exactly what I felt inside.
The way his lips moved when he spoke.
The way his eyes shifted.
His smell.

The first time I walked into a place to apply for a job.
The way the people I now know so well,
looked at me for the first time.
Their body language, giving away their first thoughts of me.

People always want good things to happen.
But the only way to truly appreciate them is with the presence of bad things.
Too many good things at one time,
And we can't fully remember it all without the help of a photograph or a clear memory.
It causes us to, a lot of times,
take it for granted.

The only way to stop time is with a camera.
It's a way to capture a memory to keep forever.
Sometimes I wish
My eyes could be the lens.
My breath the shutter.
My mind the film.
Nothing would have to be exposed
or developed.
Because when I close my eyes,
it would be the perfect exposure.
Exactly the way it happend.
And exactly the way I remember it.

But sometimes, life is too fast for a camera.
And we're limited to relying on memory alone.