ali's Corner. [The Quiet Things]

the unbelievable feeling of brokenness that
constantly taps on my window each time the four of us are together is
overwhelming.
it's been years since I've seen the light on this one particular part of my life.
since then, it's been abused and neglected
from ignorance and laziness to the point of
this.

some things just need to be dealt with.
but what do you do when the next step is in someone else's hands?
when the only way that it will get better isn't up to you.
i understand about giving our worries to the Lord.
but how am i supposed to feel when nothing is going anywhere.
when years of silence and missed opportunities finally takes a toll.
And not just on us, but on me as a person.

You all have become something that I need.
Something I took for granted when I was small.
You were the only people I knew.
And cared to know at that.

9 years is too long.
For these silent dinners
and sad holidays.
Because the only things I think of is how it used to be.
Happiness was all I knew.
You all brought out the best in me.
And now, I'm exhausted from trying to fix things.
from being depressed and saddened each time we're all together.

We're running out of time.
Even tomorrow could be too late.

It's breaking me
slowly...
but violently.

It's hard to stand it any longer.