Satan got the best of me this past weekend.
I've never felt so depressed
so discouraged
or so sad in my entire life.
I felt buried deep into a hole that I couldn't get out of.
I wanted so bad just to be happy,
but I couldn't.
I was suffocating.
I can't believe I let it get that far.
He took what little discouragement I had
and turned it into hate, anger and sadness.
I feel like I hurt so many people.
Not by what I said.
But by my apathetic way of not saying anything.
I know I never want to go back there.
Because I'm weak at the knees for a God
that is more powerful than the devil at his best.
My heart is heavy for a God
who loves me so much,
even when all faith is gone
and I push him away.
He's always come through for me.
And he's not going to stop now.
It's all in my thinking.
Life is one big series of tests.
And passing isn't an object of being right all the time.
But simply saying YES to the Lord.
I'm back, God.
Ready and willing
as ever.
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