one thing i like about myself.
my ability to take a horrible event,
and learn from it.
last summer.
me and a group of friend hung out at starbucks.
every night.
it became a starbucks crew.
one kid, John Ice became part of the group.
he'd talk to me one on one.
i got the vibe that he liked me.
so i kind of shoved him off.
towards the end of the summer.
he disappeared.
no one heard from him anymore.
in the back of my mind and
at the pit of my heart.
i had this voice.
this feeling.
to contact him.
to check up on him.
he was so nice to talk to.
and i knew his life was rough.
i felt a calling to just be a good friend.
he needed one.
...but i never did.
was i too busy?
or just too selfish?
tonight as i parked my car to
go into aaron's apartment.
i got a text from a friend.
"john ice committed suicide today."
my heart fell to the ground.
tears immediately filled my eyes.
as i sat in my car alone
with my hand to my face,
i said "why God?"
this is it.
this is what i am called to do.
inspire.
touch.
help.
save.
people.
from this.
a simple smile.
or 'how have you been?"
could change a person's mind instantly.
i could have saved him.
but i didn't.
i'm not here to blame myself.
i'm here to do my part.
to fufill the purpose God has for me.
and if my only purpose is
to stop one person from ending their life.
i'd be more than satisfied.
John,
I promise you.
with your death,
and my determination
you've already saved another life.
RIP,
your friend from starbucks
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